Long Distance Relationships...

Warning...this post is long...grab a glass of water and read on...or skip it. Nothing important in here...just me venting :)

Haven't been to yoga for a few days now...life keeps getting in the way. I try to go 3-5 times per week and have only made it twice this week...so, getting to yoga this weekend is a priority :) I think I need to fire up the treadmill for those days that I just can't make it for a 2 hour yoga session.


Had my eye check up yesterday...and they are continuing to improve. He is very pleased with where I am at :)


Now, onto my mind wanderings for today...This morning the phone rang at 8am...early for around here so I knew something was wrong. It was my best friend (she lives in Arizona). She was crying. She has been "dating" this guy from Seattle for the past 3 months. I use the term dating loosely because they had never actually met in person. Over the course of the past few months she had fallen in love with this guy. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you have never met in person? I believe it is to a certain extent. But I also believe that once you actually meet that person for real...that the way a person "is" in person can alter this perception. I have first hand experience with this as a result of the whole fiasco with Florida Man. Anyway, he flies down to Arizona to meet her. They have the big dramatic twirling airport kiss and things seem to be going well. She had already told him in email or on the phone that she loved him but he had never specifically said the words. She was convinced that he was the one. So last night (day 3 of his visit), she tells him she loves him. And he says that he is sorry but that he doesn't harbour the same feelings for her and that she doesn't have enough to "offer" him. WTF does that mean? lol She is pretty, funny, caring, owns her own home, has her own business...she is a good package in my opinion. He on the other had lives with a buddy, has a minimum wage job, no car etc. Anyway, she is devastated. She tells him that maybe he should change his flight and go back early...ie today instead of tomorrow evening. He says, no. He is too cheap to pay the fee to change his flight so she will either have to pay the fee herself or deal with him being at her house until tomorrow. Ugh...uncomfortable situation at it's worst.


I feel so very bad for her but at the same time knew that this was going to happen from the get go. Yes, my view on long distance relationships is somewhat....ok VERY...jaded because of Florida Man. From the beginning I advised her to slow down...see how it goes....but she had to develop feelings for a man she had never met. I don't know if he was just using her for an Arizona vacation or if he really believed they had something. In the long run, none of it matters. She is hurting and all I can do is try to be there for her as best as I can. She just has the MOST rotten luck with men. The following list is not all inclusive...I have forgotten most of the men she has dated....but these are the highlights.

1. She divorced her husband because she thought there was someone better for her out there. I believe it was the right decision (he was a bit of a prick), but she believes she made a mistake and now all of her failed relationships are pay back for divorcing him.


2. She fell in love with a married man. He never told her he would leave his wife. She ended it. This one still continues on 5 years later...him calling begging her to take him back and she saying no.


3. The old guy that wanted the trophy wife. She ended it.


4. Her best friend...who also had benefits but they were never exclusive. More on this in a second.


5. A guy she met online...Putzman...not kidding that was his last name. He lied about his health and gave her genital herpes. She asked all the right questions...he lied....they were in the middle of having sex and he says...oh btw...I have herpes and I think I may be having an outbreak. This led to the end of the relationship with her best friend. I have tried to tell her that if her best friend ended a non-exlusive friends with benefits relationship over her having herpes...then he was just in it for the sex and was never a true friend.


6. San Diego guy...she met him online...he seemed nice. She flew out to meet him. His picture was wayyy old. He showed up at the airport in old man jeans....you know...the ones with the elastic waist...ewww....then started drinking..and drinking...and drinking some more...drooling drunkeness. No love connection, she flew home the next day.


7. Lousiana guy...again another online guy. This guy had anger management issues. He exploded at the waiter, the store clerk, the cab driver, her dog, her. Needless to say...she dumped him.
8. And finally, Seattle man.

Why is it so hard for her to find love? I thought originally that she was just being too picky...but this last guy...a smoker, lousy job, no home, no car etc. She just keeps getting hurt over and over.

Then there is me. I thought I had found the one. Turns out him dumping me was the best thing that ever happened to me. I went on Lava Life at the end of January...kissed a few frogs...then found my prince :) Andrew is the most kind, caring, gentle man I have ever met. My kids adore him, he adores my kids, even my ex says that if he could hand-pick a step dad for the kids...Andrew would be it. We have been inseparable for the past 4 months and I have absolutely no red flags when it comes to him. No, he isn't perfect...but then neither am I (shhh don't tell anyone :P)

Why is it so easy for me....yet so hard for her?